observations...

Ok, here’s the deal. Ever since the beginning of my stay in espana, my roommate Lara and I have been noticing little by little, and picking up on the lifestyle, attitudes, behavior of the ‘youth’ here. We’ve talked about it A LOT (behind their backs, of course), and obviously compared it to our lives back home, not with the intention of claiming one to be superior to the other, just simply comparing and contrasting and trying with all our might to understand it all. And well, I haven’t written anything about it yet because I didn’t want it to seem like I was complaining or anything—because I think that’s how I come across in the blog a lot, and I didn’t want to perpetuate that idea—but now, I’ve waited long enough and I just have to get it out of my system. AND I also think something like this is important to realize and remember later on, especially because it constitutes a pretty big portion of my life here. AND, a professor of Lara has confirmed our thoughts/ideas of the generalized – which is important to keep in mind – Spanish youth with studies, which puts me a little bit more at ease as I just let it all out.
Ok first of all, my senora’s two daughters are 19 and 21 years old. They don’t go to school. Each took courses, the 19 year old one just started last week working at a daycare in the mornings, and the 21 yr old one got her first job in like march or something, worked 1 week and decided she didn’t like her boss so she quit the following week, and has remained jobless ever since. I have no idea what she does.
As far as what I’ve seen/heard/experienced in my house, there is a significant lack of respect for the older generation(s), and according to a professor, this has been a characteristic of this generation, and it continues to grow in impact (? don’t know how to word it…) with the younger generations—meaning, it’s just expanding and getting worse. True, true, you could say, well, everyone yells at and fights with and disobeys their mom, BUT they just pay no respect whatsoever to the person who makes their every meal, who wakes them up for work, who does their laundry, who makes their bed, who cleans their room, etc. instead, it’s: “MAMA, TRAE EL AGUA. NO QUIERO LEVANTARME,” or simply ignoring her. It wouldn’t call our attention so much if the people we saw doing this and acting in this way were like 10 yrs old maybe, but no, this is the normal behavior of a 21-year old. Whhhhhhat? So of course, this leads me to compare it to Chile, and therefore, the Hispanic culture, and therefore maturity: living at home till you get married, not working because “there is no reason to, since you have your parents to support you,” having no responsibility, etc. Basically, the maturity level is just at a completely different level. Which is fine. It’s just different, and clearly requires an adjustment period. I’ve been with it now going on 8 months, and I’m still baffled by what I hear and see. However, it’s also kinda the ‘guilt’ of the older generation, too; they just maintain the standards, without changing their comportment, even if they have a problem with the ‘youth system.’ I don’t get it.
Lara and I have noticed that in our house, it just seems like a constant attack or demand of their mom, and even though she clearly gets mad and frustrated and seems to feel powerless, she still does everything the same, gives no punishment, and lets them keep living their life how they want, without daring being interrupted by their mother, who single-handedly raised them herself. Wow, long sentence. Anyway, we’ve wanted to ask our senora about their behavior, well, in a very roundabout way, especially when she’s mad, so she can identify with what we’re referring to, but we’ve wimped out. It’s tough, because I think and believe it would most likely come across to her as an ‘attack’ on her daughters, or how she raised them, seeing as how she says she’s American (she lived there for a couple of years…doesn’t speak a lick of English…) and doesn’t agree with a lot (the majority) of things that go on in the States, how the way of life doesn’t fit her, etc.
So anyway, it’s really tough sometimes, I think mainly because a lot of it occurs at meal time, when we’re seated at the table and can first-handedly see and hear what’s going on. Several times we have just been so awestruck at the table that we have nothing to say, NOTHING, and end up sitting there, speechless, staring at each other, wanting so badly to speak up and tell them to act their age, but just leaving the table in silence instead.
At the same time, I think our household has a really different environment because a)there is no father figure, b)these girls have had at least one girl—most likely 2 girls—living in their house EVERY semester for the past 11 years. Yes, 11 years. So I can only imagine that this would have something to do with their behavior, though I’d hardly say that’s a valid reason to act the way they do, and c) I haven’t come up with a ‘c’ yet. haha Ideas?!
Oh one more thing regarding Spanish youth. They are surprisingly (generally-speaking, of course) apathetic. In many regards. But on the other hand, lara and I realized that at home we are pretty much just surrounded by people at school who are go-getters, have goals, want to change the world, ya know, that type of people. but here, well, we’re not surrounded by that type of Spanish people, so it’s just a different atmosphere, and it really catches us off-guard. They really give the impression that they have no power whatsoever (mainly girls) to change anything, help anything, etc. for example, girls and sports: it’s still at a point here in spain where girls don’t really have sports teams, don’t play sports, etc., because that’s just not ‘right.’ Well, I’ve talked to several girls about this who would like to play sports, but they say that since there are no established teams or programs for them they have no opportunity to do anything. And I was like, wellllllll why don’t you do something about that???? Like, get with your firneds who want to do that with you and make something of it? And basically they’re just like, noooo, nothing would happen, we can’t change that, blah blah blah. GAG. It makes me think of that John Mayer song, “Waiting on the world to change.” Jajaj, which is funny because I really love that song, but I guess the message of it isn’t so great…anyway, it just ASTOUNDS ME.
Ok that’s it for now. Probably doesn’t seem like much, oh but it is. It actually makes it really hard for me to relate with them on a lot of levels. Well, aside from the fact that they don’t really talk to me, it just makes me really mad when they yell incessantly at her. And they do it in front of their friends and boyfriends, and they just act as if it’s completely normal. I’m like, um, no. at least act fake in front of your friends so they don’t have to see how bad you get along with your mom. Hahah But no. and the friends/bf’s just seem normal with it, even sometimes join the conversation. ??????? Man, if I went to a friend’s house and he/she started screaming at his/her mom or dad, I’d quietly leave the room, or AT LEAST stare at the ground and pretend to be invisible…right? Wowww.
OK now I’m really done for now.
Hugs.